scary boy robots (flight__) wrote in dearsnape,
scary boy robots
flight__
dearsnape

105: L-E-X-Y, & You Know She's So Fly.

Dear Snape,
Dingo's ate my baby.

Much love, The crazed one.
..
..
..
Hold up. I was just kidding.
I have an ex. This ex is a moron. This ex is dating my best friend. I wish to brutally tear this ex's jugular out, tie it around his femur which I plan to rip out with my teeth and beat him over the head with it. Did Imention I'm in love with my best friend? Help?

Love much,

Lets-kill-stuff

________________&&&

So... What exactly is stopping you from doing it?

::sigh::

I mean... have you told your best friend how you feel? Because they might be a bit offended if you destroy their significant other without explaining first.

I actually have a femur that I'm willing to sell, if you'd like... It'll save you clean-up time.

That is not helpful, Draco. The idea of this column is to help people SOLVE their problems, not help them create legal ones.

Hey, I have things that can help them flee the legal problems, too!

::squints:: Are you still making copies of that flyer I told you to incinerate?

Er.... no...

::leaps upon Draco, pinning him to the ground. She begins digging through his robes, eventually holding aloft a piece of bright blue parchment:: I KNEW it! How many times have I told you that I don't want any other random people on the lam here!

::still under Sarah's knees:: I thought that 'Sarah's Bed & Breakfast for Fugatives' was catchy!

::stands up:: I'm going to check your room, and merlin help you if I find another of these! ::dashes out::

::offers a hand to Draco:: Eventually she's going to figure out that you do this just so that she'll paw you looking for the damned things.

Yeah... I know. ::sighs::
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